Balance Challenge Day 18: Better Late than Never

I had big plans for the final four blog posts for the Balance Challenge. Starting today, we were going to kick off posts from four other moms talking about balance. The one for today had some balancing obstacles come up and so I thought no worries, I will do it... and then time passed... AND I FORGOT. I was too busy feeling balanced and yummy.

I hope you are learning as much about yourself as I am during this challenge. I learned that the only true obstacle to my balance is me. I learned that the perfect life is waiting for me. I have to create it and then commit to it. I own my balance and responsible for seeing it through. I've learned that I could wait my entire life for the perfect scenario but that would only result in a ton of wasted time.

This is a short post because I want to hear from you! What have you learned during the challenge? What else do you want to know?

FYI: Yama Yoga Mama is going to be undergoing some SERIOUS change in the upcoming weeks. New website, new menu of services, and maybe a new identity!
Stay tuned!

Balance Challenge Day 13: Try Out A Social Media Fast

I must admit a topic for Day 13 had me stumped. I was thinking "Ok we addressed obstacles, solutions... our idea of balance... now what?" The all knowing universe delivered a topic to me within moments of feeling at a loss. The idea for a social media fast came to me when someone posted a snarky comment on a balance challenge post shared on my personal Facebook page. Maybe I'm over exaggerating its snarkiness BUT it really bothered me for the rest of the day. I couldn't decide the intention or motivation behind the comment but it struck a nerve. It bothered me to the point where I "unfriended" the person. Harsh I know but I can also admit that I don't really know the person that well. She was the adoption coordinator for one of my dogs and I met her once. She is a fellow yogi and pregnant. And she critiqued my elbow in a pose... Yes, my elbow. The comment very well could have been meant to be helpful but sometimes I feel like help can very much come across as a criticism. I'm very much the type "If you have nothing nice to say (to my face)..."
So you have the background. I woke up this morning and decided. I am not tuning into Facebook today. There are other social medias: Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest... I'm sure there are more.

Let's enjoy a day without social media and see what it's like.

I can tell you I am 3 hours into my day, and I feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! By choosing to not engage in the chaos and negativity that I tend to find on Facebook, I feel so much lighter today. I also have gotten so much more done in just a couple of hours.

Don't get me wrong. I love F-Book but I continue to struggle with it. About a year ago, I went through and cleaned it up. I took people off my newsfeed that were chronically negative or posting toxic information. I left the people that occasionally had a bad day and needed to vent... after all we all have them. But you know the negative people I'm talking about. The ones that are permanently stuck in a Debbie Downer party. They feel stuck and instead of taking the bull by the horns, it is status after status of the "Woe is me." I  noticed that this helped my state of mind. If you are constantly reading and seeing negativity, you absorb that.



Any excuse to show my dog: Snarky girl helped us adopt this beauty.

So pick your poison (social media nemesis) AND disconnect. If you are feeling really ambitious, tune out of ALL of them. Notice the time you get back and think about all those things you wrote down on that would make you feel balanced. If you said it would be great if you had more time to read a book, take a book along with you today. Instead of eating and tweeting, get lost in an author's words. If you wanted more time to exercise, get up and move off the couch. Get ready to balance by getting rid of the world's biggest time suck!

Namaste folks!

Balance Challenge Day 11: Solutions to IMbalance

Rise and Shine! Today is the day that we take those obstacles that have been festering and find solutions! Sometimes when we write down problems and they pertain to something we really want to achieve, solutions naturally come to us. Ways to get where we want to be magically appear. Since we are motivated... we start to take those solutions seriously. Those who are not motivated likely did not make it this far in the challenge. Congrats! You are ready for balance. If you need a refresher on obstacles, check out Balance Challenge Day 6: Obstacles to a Balanced Self.

When I was typing out my obstacles last week it seemed like as soon as I put the problem out there, a solution came to me. In my former life, I was a social worker and used the theory Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) frequently in my work. SFBT takes issues that have come up in the past but shifts the focus to how they can be corrected in the present and future. It creates short term therapy and is usually very effective!

In writing down my obstacles I realized so many different ways in which I compromise my own balance. If you remember I made a cute little pie chart of what my balance would look like. I became even more excited by seeing my balance laid out for me. I could almost taste the sweet bliss of my balanced self and it was GOOD. I crave more balance in my life. What I noticed was that all obstacles lead back to really one main "character flaw."

I lack the confidence to ask for help. I almost NEVER will ask people for help. I always make excuses as to why I can't just give someone a call and say "I'm in over my head" or "I'm in a bind." Asking for help seems to make me feel weak. That's not the reality of course but it is how I feel. I should be able to handle anything. And so the secret to my balance success is asking for help.

My husband is the hardest working, most loyal, and compassionate man you will meet. He has been working really hard to provide for us since I quit my social work job to pursue yoga. He was compassionate enough to realize that I could not handle the negativity and toxicity of my previous job in a nursing home. I would come home feel emotionally gross and ethically dirty from my job. The principles of the company did not align with my principles as a human. I am NOT the easiest woman to be married too. I am moody, particular, and every bit the princess... I'm also very self aware. Despite my flaws, my husband loves me unconditionally. Even in times when I am thinking, this isn't working, he powers through and proves that we are very much soul mates. Due to my husband's work schedule, I typically feel bad asking him to watch our daughter so I can go take a break. I've asked to go get a pedicure or to go to yoga, but I have never asked for more than 1-2 hours. My motivation led me to wake up Sunday and ask. I explained that I felt like I needed some time to just play and get some things done and you know what he said "I think that's a great idea." His generosity allowed me to get some work done, spend quality time with my dogs, and do yoga. I could enjoy three of the things on my pie chart. When he came home we spent time as a family and then we all slept well from our day of adventure.

Take a good hard look at your obstacles and start to pave the road to balance. Tackle one challenge at a time. When you are done, find the obstacles that will be the easiest to overcome. Surmount that one obstacle. Note how good it feels when you succeed. Commit that feeling to memory and take one concern at a time and correct it.

You are well on your way to a balanced self. If you feel like you need more support you can brainstorm with family or friends. You can also contact me and receive 50% off of a 1 hour coaching consultation by mentioning the Balance Challenge! That's a $30 value! The possibilities for your balance are endless. You have come so far. Don't get stuck now!

Balance Challenge Day 9: Inhale. Exhale Repeat

One of my mentors, Stacy Olsen says repeatedly "Inhale, Exhale, Repeat." I will tell you it is one of the best ways to bring balance back into your life. Last week we focused on really grounding ourselves in our meditation by walking and feeling the earth support us. This week, we move to our core. The belly physically houses our digestive system but the energetics of the region store our self esteem. If you remember we talked about the first chakra being in our pelvis, the third chakra (Manipura Chakra) is located behind the navel and recedes back to the spine. I'm sure you can imagine how strong self esteem can be helpful to our balance. When we have strong self esteem we are more equipped to utter the word "No." Our self worth is strong and does not depend on the approval of others to feel good.

Today's meditation mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be alone with your breath.

What you will need:
You

You do not need a meditation cushion, a gong, candles... or any of that other "foo foo" stuff they try to sell you. I'm sure you have somewhere comfortable to sit already. So park it and let's begin.

In a comfy seated position, close down your eyes. Experience some peace and calm.

Imagine a balloon in your belly. As you inhale fill that balloon with air. Allow the belly to get as big with breath as possible. Then release the breath and let that belly balloon deflate. Congrats you've done one round. Now do 99 more. I KID YOU NOT!

I have read in loads of places how consciously breathing 100 times will change the way you see the world around you. At a certain point, when I heard it from 4 people in one week, I sat up and took note. I felt like I was being given a sign. I needed to experience it and see what the hype is. So I sat with all my "foo foo" meditation stuff... and practiced: inhale, exhale repeat. I'm not sure how many because I lost count but I will tell you I also lost track of time and when I came too it was maybe 30 minutes later and I felt like a new woman.

So start breathing and please commit to share your experience with one person this week. There has to be someone you know that would benefit from your advice on balance.

New Mom Tip: Every free minute you have is precious SO here is my advice to you when you are feeding your baby you can use that time to connect to your baby and meditate. It will help relax you and your baby. It also does wonders for your letdown if you are nursing.  ;)

Mom of Young Children Tip: GET THEM INVOLVED. Most children breathe from their bellies and then start breathing in their chest during times of stress. As adults, we are chest breathers most of the time. Imagine the impact focusing on their belly breaths could give your children. Talk about life skills! Plus this exercise is great fun to encourage them to count.

Everyone Else's Tip: No excuses. Just breathe!

Balance Challenge Day 6: Obstacles to a Balanced Self

We all face challenges to our balance. Just like our idea of balance is different from the next person, our obstacles wont be the same either. I'm about to share my obstacles with you. You can either read on... or skip to the bold part for your next balance exercise.

On Tuesday, I shared that my optimum balance would have the following components: time with family, work, sleep, time with my dogs, and yoga! It's exciting for me to even think about. Now my ability to achieve my ideal balance with ALL these things is hindered to varying degrees by certain obstacles.

My sleep right now is being thrown off by my daughter having learned to roll herself over and sleep on her belly. I'm constantly waking up to check on her. Add on top of that that typically she sleeps 10 hours so as a breastfeeding mama... can you even imagine! Since she typically will sleep until 9am, I have had to wake up at 6am routinely to pump and relieve some pressure. At that point, I don't even try to go back to bed. I am too hopped up on thinking about laundry, dishes, my never ending to-do list... and so it goes.

My yoga practice has been greatly impacted by the arrival of my sweet bundle 4 months ago. I rarely make it to classes any more and for some reason I felt like I couldn't practice at all at home. In addition, I went back to teaching yoga 2 weeks after the birth of my girl. I had to teach in the evenings so my husband could get home from work and watch her.This left little time for my personal yoga practice.

My dogs are getting the care they need but I'm not getting the time with them that I really want. I miss the extra minutes of snuggles before I leave the house or the extra time I would add on to their walks so I could just be with their four-legged souls.

As I mentioned I was teaching several nights a week at local studios so I felt like I was getting the opportunity to work... but something was missing. Teaching was no longer the best part of my day. That's pretty typical I would think after the birth of a perfect baby, but teaching wasn't giving me the same fulfillment it once had. I was craving something more.

Family. This is a loaded gun in my household. We moved to Texas two years ago for my husband's job. We are now moving to Florida where neither of us have family. My husband has basically been working two full-time jobs since the birth of our daughter, one of which includes a great deal of travel. I have been getting amazing quality time with my daughter but not what I want with my husband, mom, brothers, cousins, nephews, etc. I miss my family so much I feel like my heart might actually have broken into a million pieces.

So now that you have read (or not) my personal barriers to balance... I want you to start thinking of yours. LAY IT ALL OUT THERE! Anything that hinders your balance speak it out loud, write it down, sing it the shower, whatever you need to get it out there and acknowledge it. I highly recommend writing it down so you have a tangible list, but if that doesn't work for you... lock it to memory.

I really HATE leaving things like this. We've been doing so well. But this list will likely take time and I really want you to flush all those obstacles out. We will get to moving and solving these issues but not yet. Spend the next couple days alone with your obstacles. Once you have them out there, see where your thoughts go!

Namaste FOLKS!

Balance Challenge Day 4: What is Balance

Idea of what I think my balance would look like!

What is the definition of balance? Honestly, who cares what Wikipedia or Webster say about it? I could lay out all the definitions of balance for you but does that get you any closer to your vision of what you as a balanced human would experience? Absolutely not.

Balance is something that is particular to each person's interests, ambitions, and responsibilities. Balance is NOT about doing ONLY the things that make you happy although it is possible. You get there incrementally, certainly not overnight. Balance is about incorporating things you enjoy and care for into your day.

I recently found a tool for new moms to organize their lives and shift the focus to them. They use a tool that included 8 categories. Their tool came with a free workbook which after opening to find 8 categories, I shut it down and instead thought about what a really fulfilling day would look like. I say fulfilling instead of perfect because many people do not want to think about the "have to's" on a perfect day. In a fulfilling day, you feel complete. You can be accomplished and happy. It's a win/win. This also allows everything to be contingent on your personal needs. When you use a structured tool with multiple categories you may feel compelled to fill out and satisfy all components of what someone else deems pertinent. That is not how you find balance. Taking a nice journey inward, getting into the nitty gritty of your needs; that is how you grasp balance.

So your task for today is simple and fun. Take some time and write down what a fulfilling day for you looks like. You will see that work and play both find their way into your day and/or week. It takes a little time of balance.

Getting frustrated that we haven't put too much into action yet?  It's coming. In Jack Hawley's version of The Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 4, Verse 18, he notes that even in times of inaction  we are setting the foundation for true change. Lack of movement does not mean lack of growth. View this task as a stepping stone to knowing what will balance you. What you have an idea, THEN you can move into action.

What my boy Rock's perfect balance looks like!

Check back tomorrow for the next question that will help you achieve your perfect balance! NAMASTE

Balance Challenge Day 2: Moving Meditation

Part of balance is finding your root or that physical point where you connect to the earth: the feet.

Today's meditation has us connect to the earth by practicing a walking meditation. The process is as follows:

Take your phone. Put it in a drawer.

Go outside.

Start moving.

I think you can all handle that. So I'm adding to this meditation. As you start your walk, notice your natural rhythm. Some things to note are:

• How fast do you naturally walk?
• Is your center of gravity high, in the middle, or low?
• What does it feel like in your feet?
• Do you feel grounded?

Something you should know about this challenge is that I am doing it with you. There is NOTHING I'm asking you to do that I haven't already done. How could I guide you if I am not clear with my own "ish?" And EVERYONE has "ish." What I noticed in the first five minutes of my walk were:

• I walk like I'm being chased by a mob (I might as well be running).
• My feet barely touch the ground.
• I'm not sure my feet actually felt anything due to how quickly I move to the next step.
• Grounded? I felt like a bird!

So I started to shift my walk.

• I slowed way down. A walk that I know typically takes 15 minutes ended up taking 35.
• I focused on placing my heel down and rolling to towards the toes. I allowed myself to press into the earth. This naturally took my center of gravity and brought it way low. It felt delicious.
• I understood what it felt to be grounded.

Now that you understand the physical practice of the walking meditation, we can move on. There is an emotional and energetic root known as Muladhara chakra. The element of this specific chakra is THE EARTH. See the connection. I'm not making this stuff up folks!

Some beauty from my walk!
(I went back later to take pictures, NO PHONES during meditation)

Meditation is all about bringing your focus to one point. If you are new to meditation, you will notice this is actually really hard. I meditate daily and I still have days that I have an epic drama running through my head. As I set off on my walk, besides noticing that I must look like a gazelle when I walk, I tuned into my thoughts in an effort to clear my baggage and come to that one point focus.

I realized that I was feeling off balance, fearful, and anxious due to my upcoming move cross-country (hence the BALANCE CHALLENGE).  I was dealing with some issues with people not respecting boundaries. I missed my family up in New Jersey. The pain I had been experienced in my left knee was there but less worrisome. As my mind ran like a hamster on a wheel... I made a connection. Issues with rooting, feeling grounded, home, family, boundaries as well as issues in your lower extremities are all related to the root chakra. Don't believe me? Check out Anodea Judith's Eastern Body, Western Mind. If you don't feel like buying the book but want to know if your mental focus is root chakra focused, leave a comment! I'll get back to you!

Once I noticed what emotional baggage I was walking with, I was able to channel my energy into a mantra. A mantra made for grounding the energetic root is "The earth supports me and meets my needs." Inhale, Exhale, Repeat.

New Mom Tip: Allow that stroller in the back of your car to see the light of day. Put baby in the stroller and walk on girlfriend!





Baby Girl gets a great nap from her walking meditation!