Selling Your House: A Lesson in Non-Attachment

My husband and I made the decision last week to sell our house. It was something that we had toyed with for a few months, but when his opportunity of a lifetime came knocking we couldn't turn it down. When we moved to Texas two years ago from New Jersey... I did NOT go quietly. I actually refused to come until he promised that I would be able to get a third greyhound. I'm somewhat of a collector when it comes to them. So I came kicking and screaming to Texas and as we made the decision to leave, I realized just how much I enjoyed our life here.

Now everything moved pretty quick. We decided on a Tuesday to move, on Thursday we signed the paperwork for our house, and on Friday, our realtor posted a "coming soon" sign. As many new moms can relate, life with a newborn flies so it wasn't so much the pace we were moving that was bothering me but what I was leaving behind and what I was losing like...

MY PRIVACY

Most new moms can relate. When was the last time you showered without your newborn in the room with you? For me it was earlier today BUT some days, I soap up with my munchkin sitting in her bouncy seat gazing at me.

When you sell your house, you start to live in a fishbowl. From the moment our realtor had us post on Facebook that we were listing, we had boatloads of people texting, calling, emailing wanting details on our house (because it is super fabulous) and asking questions about where we were going. I got very good at NOT answering that question.

My sense of solitude was stripped further when people starting driving up to our house, getting out, inspecting the sign and then walking up on our lawn and trying to see in our windows. Since we started showing this weekend, I can't even think about people investigating my closets, drawers, art (oh wait no, they made us take most of that down).

How does someone even bid farewell to their privacy? It will be a continuous journey
. I'm not really a secretive person but I know that I like things on my terms and if I sense someone is looking for information, I tent to withhold.

But perhaps the hardest thing I am leaving behind, is my daughter's nursery. LABOR of LOVE defined. Imagine floor to ceiling purple giraffe print that matches bedding perfectly. Curtains custom made by your aunt with fabric you patrolled the internet seeking for close to 12 hours. Not to mention the fair trade made baskets that host all her toys. It HURTS to think about it. In fact the reason to sell really took so long, was because of this giraffe wall.

Since signing the paperwork, I have tried:

staring at that wall until it hurts (I got a headache)

putting my daughter down for her naps in the nursery (optimizing use and exposure)

avoiding the nursery (hard when that's where the diapers are)

crying it out (I don't cry pretty)

telling myself that I can do it better in our new home (I had to admit it, there are flaws in my pattern)

And even contemplating painting over it (gasp)

Our Giraffe Wall Flaws and All

You guessed it, nothing helps. In yoga, we talk so much about non-attachment. Who we are, the things we done, material items... we can have them or not... but they don't define us. For me that giraffe wall is so deeply connected to who I feel I am as a mother. It's time to let that vision go and let myself as a mother be redefined. How silly of me to be attached to a wall? It doesn't replace the relationship I have built in just four months with my daughter. So now my mission, should I choose to accept it, is to rock like Elsa in Frozen and "Let it Go."