Balance Challenge Day 18: Better Late than Never

I had big plans for the final four blog posts for the Balance Challenge. Starting today, we were going to kick off posts from four other moms talking about balance. The one for today had some balancing obstacles come up and so I thought no worries, I will do it... and then time passed... AND I FORGOT. I was too busy feeling balanced and yummy.

I hope you are learning as much about yourself as I am during this challenge. I learned that the only true obstacle to my balance is me. I learned that the perfect life is waiting for me. I have to create it and then commit to it. I own my balance and responsible for seeing it through. I've learned that I could wait my entire life for the perfect scenario but that would only result in a ton of wasted time.

This is a short post because I want to hear from you! What have you learned during the challenge? What else do you want to know?

FYI: Yama Yoga Mama is going to be undergoing some SERIOUS change in the upcoming weeks. New website, new menu of services, and maybe a new identity!
Stay tuned!

Balance Challenge Day 13: Try Out A Social Media Fast

I must admit a topic for Day 13 had me stumped. I was thinking "Ok we addressed obstacles, solutions... our idea of balance... now what?" The all knowing universe delivered a topic to me within moments of feeling at a loss. The idea for a social media fast came to me when someone posted a snarky comment on a balance challenge post shared on my personal Facebook page. Maybe I'm over exaggerating its snarkiness BUT it really bothered me for the rest of the day. I couldn't decide the intention or motivation behind the comment but it struck a nerve. It bothered me to the point where I "unfriended" the person. Harsh I know but I can also admit that I don't really know the person that well. She was the adoption coordinator for one of my dogs and I met her once. She is a fellow yogi and pregnant. And she critiqued my elbow in a pose... Yes, my elbow. The comment very well could have been meant to be helpful but sometimes I feel like help can very much come across as a criticism. I'm very much the type "If you have nothing nice to say (to my face)..."
So you have the background. I woke up this morning and decided. I am not tuning into Facebook today. There are other social medias: Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest... I'm sure there are more.

Let's enjoy a day without social media and see what it's like.

I can tell you I am 3 hours into my day, and I feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! By choosing to not engage in the chaos and negativity that I tend to find on Facebook, I feel so much lighter today. I also have gotten so much more done in just a couple of hours.

Don't get me wrong. I love F-Book but I continue to struggle with it. About a year ago, I went through and cleaned it up. I took people off my newsfeed that were chronically negative or posting toxic information. I left the people that occasionally had a bad day and needed to vent... after all we all have them. But you know the negative people I'm talking about. The ones that are permanently stuck in a Debbie Downer party. They feel stuck and instead of taking the bull by the horns, it is status after status of the "Woe is me." I  noticed that this helped my state of mind. If you are constantly reading and seeing negativity, you absorb that.



Any excuse to show my dog: Snarky girl helped us adopt this beauty.

So pick your poison (social media nemesis) AND disconnect. If you are feeling really ambitious, tune out of ALL of them. Notice the time you get back and think about all those things you wrote down on that would make you feel balanced. If you said it would be great if you had more time to read a book, take a book along with you today. Instead of eating and tweeting, get lost in an author's words. If you wanted more time to exercise, get up and move off the couch. Get ready to balance by getting rid of the world's biggest time suck!

Namaste folks!

Balance Challenge Day 11: Solutions to IMbalance

Rise and Shine! Today is the day that we take those obstacles that have been festering and find solutions! Sometimes when we write down problems and they pertain to something we really want to achieve, solutions naturally come to us. Ways to get where we want to be magically appear. Since we are motivated... we start to take those solutions seriously. Those who are not motivated likely did not make it this far in the challenge. Congrats! You are ready for balance. If you need a refresher on obstacles, check out Balance Challenge Day 6: Obstacles to a Balanced Self.

When I was typing out my obstacles last week it seemed like as soon as I put the problem out there, a solution came to me. In my former life, I was a social worker and used the theory Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) frequently in my work. SFBT takes issues that have come up in the past but shifts the focus to how they can be corrected in the present and future. It creates short term therapy and is usually very effective!

In writing down my obstacles I realized so many different ways in which I compromise my own balance. If you remember I made a cute little pie chart of what my balance would look like. I became even more excited by seeing my balance laid out for me. I could almost taste the sweet bliss of my balanced self and it was GOOD. I crave more balance in my life. What I noticed was that all obstacles lead back to really one main "character flaw."

I lack the confidence to ask for help. I almost NEVER will ask people for help. I always make excuses as to why I can't just give someone a call and say "I'm in over my head" or "I'm in a bind." Asking for help seems to make me feel weak. That's not the reality of course but it is how I feel. I should be able to handle anything. And so the secret to my balance success is asking for help.

My husband is the hardest working, most loyal, and compassionate man you will meet. He has been working really hard to provide for us since I quit my social work job to pursue yoga. He was compassionate enough to realize that I could not handle the negativity and toxicity of my previous job in a nursing home. I would come home feel emotionally gross and ethically dirty from my job. The principles of the company did not align with my principles as a human. I am NOT the easiest woman to be married too. I am moody, particular, and every bit the princess... I'm also very self aware. Despite my flaws, my husband loves me unconditionally. Even in times when I am thinking, this isn't working, he powers through and proves that we are very much soul mates. Due to my husband's work schedule, I typically feel bad asking him to watch our daughter so I can go take a break. I've asked to go get a pedicure or to go to yoga, but I have never asked for more than 1-2 hours. My motivation led me to wake up Sunday and ask. I explained that I felt like I needed some time to just play and get some things done and you know what he said "I think that's a great idea." His generosity allowed me to get some work done, spend quality time with my dogs, and do yoga. I could enjoy three of the things on my pie chart. When he came home we spent time as a family and then we all slept well from our day of adventure.

Take a good hard look at your obstacles and start to pave the road to balance. Tackle one challenge at a time. When you are done, find the obstacles that will be the easiest to overcome. Surmount that one obstacle. Note how good it feels when you succeed. Commit that feeling to memory and take one concern at a time and correct it.

You are well on your way to a balanced self. If you feel like you need more support you can brainstorm with family or friends. You can also contact me and receive 50% off of a 1 hour coaching consultation by mentioning the Balance Challenge! That's a $30 value! The possibilities for your balance are endless. You have come so far. Don't get stuck now!

Balance Challenge Day 9: Inhale. Exhale Repeat

One of my mentors, Stacy Olsen says repeatedly "Inhale, Exhale, Repeat." I will tell you it is one of the best ways to bring balance back into your life. Last week we focused on really grounding ourselves in our meditation by walking and feeling the earth support us. This week, we move to our core. The belly physically houses our digestive system but the energetics of the region store our self esteem. If you remember we talked about the first chakra being in our pelvis, the third chakra (Manipura Chakra) is located behind the navel and recedes back to the spine. I'm sure you can imagine how strong self esteem can be helpful to our balance. When we have strong self esteem we are more equipped to utter the word "No." Our self worth is strong and does not depend on the approval of others to feel good.

Today's meditation mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be alone with your breath.

What you will need:
You

You do not need a meditation cushion, a gong, candles... or any of that other "foo foo" stuff they try to sell you. I'm sure you have somewhere comfortable to sit already. So park it and let's begin.

In a comfy seated position, close down your eyes. Experience some peace and calm.

Imagine a balloon in your belly. As you inhale fill that balloon with air. Allow the belly to get as big with breath as possible. Then release the breath and let that belly balloon deflate. Congrats you've done one round. Now do 99 more. I KID YOU NOT!

I have read in loads of places how consciously breathing 100 times will change the way you see the world around you. At a certain point, when I heard it from 4 people in one week, I sat up and took note. I felt like I was being given a sign. I needed to experience it and see what the hype is. So I sat with all my "foo foo" meditation stuff... and practiced: inhale, exhale repeat. I'm not sure how many because I lost count but I will tell you I also lost track of time and when I came too it was maybe 30 minutes later and I felt like a new woman.

So start breathing and please commit to share your experience with one person this week. There has to be someone you know that would benefit from your advice on balance.

New Mom Tip: Every free minute you have is precious SO here is my advice to you when you are feeding your baby you can use that time to connect to your baby and meditate. It will help relax you and your baby. It also does wonders for your letdown if you are nursing.  ;)

Mom of Young Children Tip: GET THEM INVOLVED. Most children breathe from their bellies and then start breathing in their chest during times of stress. As adults, we are chest breathers most of the time. Imagine the impact focusing on their belly breaths could give your children. Talk about life skills! Plus this exercise is great fun to encourage them to count.

Everyone Else's Tip: No excuses. Just breathe!

Balance Challenge Day 6: Obstacles to a Balanced Self

We all face challenges to our balance. Just like our idea of balance is different from the next person, our obstacles wont be the same either. I'm about to share my obstacles with you. You can either read on... or skip to the bold part for your next balance exercise.

On Tuesday, I shared that my optimum balance would have the following components: time with family, work, sleep, time with my dogs, and yoga! It's exciting for me to even think about. Now my ability to achieve my ideal balance with ALL these things is hindered to varying degrees by certain obstacles.

My sleep right now is being thrown off by my daughter having learned to roll herself over and sleep on her belly. I'm constantly waking up to check on her. Add on top of that that typically she sleeps 10 hours so as a breastfeeding mama... can you even imagine! Since she typically will sleep until 9am, I have had to wake up at 6am routinely to pump and relieve some pressure. At that point, I don't even try to go back to bed. I am too hopped up on thinking about laundry, dishes, my never ending to-do list... and so it goes.

My yoga practice has been greatly impacted by the arrival of my sweet bundle 4 months ago. I rarely make it to classes any more and for some reason I felt like I couldn't practice at all at home. In addition, I went back to teaching yoga 2 weeks after the birth of my girl. I had to teach in the evenings so my husband could get home from work and watch her.This left little time for my personal yoga practice.

My dogs are getting the care they need but I'm not getting the time with them that I really want. I miss the extra minutes of snuggles before I leave the house or the extra time I would add on to their walks so I could just be with their four-legged souls.

As I mentioned I was teaching several nights a week at local studios so I felt like I was getting the opportunity to work... but something was missing. Teaching was no longer the best part of my day. That's pretty typical I would think after the birth of a perfect baby, but teaching wasn't giving me the same fulfillment it once had. I was craving something more.

Family. This is a loaded gun in my household. We moved to Texas two years ago for my husband's job. We are now moving to Florida where neither of us have family. My husband has basically been working two full-time jobs since the birth of our daughter, one of which includes a great deal of travel. I have been getting amazing quality time with my daughter but not what I want with my husband, mom, brothers, cousins, nephews, etc. I miss my family so much I feel like my heart might actually have broken into a million pieces.

So now that you have read (or not) my personal barriers to balance... I want you to start thinking of yours. LAY IT ALL OUT THERE! Anything that hinders your balance speak it out loud, write it down, sing it the shower, whatever you need to get it out there and acknowledge it. I highly recommend writing it down so you have a tangible list, but if that doesn't work for you... lock it to memory.

I really HATE leaving things like this. We've been doing so well. But this list will likely take time and I really want you to flush all those obstacles out. We will get to moving and solving these issues but not yet. Spend the next couple days alone with your obstacles. Once you have them out there, see where your thoughts go!

Namaste FOLKS!

Balance Challenge Day 4: What is Balance

Idea of what I think my balance would look like!

What is the definition of balance? Honestly, who cares what Wikipedia or Webster say about it? I could lay out all the definitions of balance for you but does that get you any closer to your vision of what you as a balanced human would experience? Absolutely not.

Balance is something that is particular to each person's interests, ambitions, and responsibilities. Balance is NOT about doing ONLY the things that make you happy although it is possible. You get there incrementally, certainly not overnight. Balance is about incorporating things you enjoy and care for into your day.

I recently found a tool for new moms to organize their lives and shift the focus to them. They use a tool that included 8 categories. Their tool came with a free workbook which after opening to find 8 categories, I shut it down and instead thought about what a really fulfilling day would look like. I say fulfilling instead of perfect because many people do not want to think about the "have to's" on a perfect day. In a fulfilling day, you feel complete. You can be accomplished and happy. It's a win/win. This also allows everything to be contingent on your personal needs. When you use a structured tool with multiple categories you may feel compelled to fill out and satisfy all components of what someone else deems pertinent. That is not how you find balance. Taking a nice journey inward, getting into the nitty gritty of your needs; that is how you grasp balance.

So your task for today is simple and fun. Take some time and write down what a fulfilling day for you looks like. You will see that work and play both find their way into your day and/or week. It takes a little time of balance.

Getting frustrated that we haven't put too much into action yet?  It's coming. In Jack Hawley's version of The Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 4, Verse 18, he notes that even in times of inaction  we are setting the foundation for true change. Lack of movement does not mean lack of growth. View this task as a stepping stone to knowing what will balance you. What you have an idea, THEN you can move into action.

What my boy Rock's perfect balance looks like!

Check back tomorrow for the next question that will help you achieve your perfect balance! NAMASTE

Balance Challenge Day 2: Moving Meditation

Part of balance is finding your root or that physical point where you connect to the earth: the feet.

Today's meditation has us connect to the earth by practicing a walking meditation. The process is as follows:

Take your phone. Put it in a drawer.

Go outside.

Start moving.

I think you can all handle that. So I'm adding to this meditation. As you start your walk, notice your natural rhythm. Some things to note are:

• How fast do you naturally walk?
• Is your center of gravity high, in the middle, or low?
• What does it feel like in your feet?
• Do you feel grounded?

Something you should know about this challenge is that I am doing it with you. There is NOTHING I'm asking you to do that I haven't already done. How could I guide you if I am not clear with my own "ish?" And EVERYONE has "ish." What I noticed in the first five minutes of my walk were:

• I walk like I'm being chased by a mob (I might as well be running).
• My feet barely touch the ground.
• I'm not sure my feet actually felt anything due to how quickly I move to the next step.
• Grounded? I felt like a bird!

So I started to shift my walk.

• I slowed way down. A walk that I know typically takes 15 minutes ended up taking 35.
• I focused on placing my heel down and rolling to towards the toes. I allowed myself to press into the earth. This naturally took my center of gravity and brought it way low. It felt delicious.
• I understood what it felt to be grounded.

Now that you understand the physical practice of the walking meditation, we can move on. There is an emotional and energetic root known as Muladhara chakra. The element of this specific chakra is THE EARTH. See the connection. I'm not making this stuff up folks!

Some beauty from my walk!
(I went back later to take pictures, NO PHONES during meditation)

Meditation is all about bringing your focus to one point. If you are new to meditation, you will notice this is actually really hard. I meditate daily and I still have days that I have an epic drama running through my head. As I set off on my walk, besides noticing that I must look like a gazelle when I walk, I tuned into my thoughts in an effort to clear my baggage and come to that one point focus.

I realized that I was feeling off balance, fearful, and anxious due to my upcoming move cross-country (hence the BALANCE CHALLENGE).  I was dealing with some issues with people not respecting boundaries. I missed my family up in New Jersey. The pain I had been experienced in my left knee was there but less worrisome. As my mind ran like a hamster on a wheel... I made a connection. Issues with rooting, feeling grounded, home, family, boundaries as well as issues in your lower extremities are all related to the root chakra. Don't believe me? Check out Anodea Judith's Eastern Body, Western Mind. If you don't feel like buying the book but want to know if your mental focus is root chakra focused, leave a comment! I'll get back to you!

Once I noticed what emotional baggage I was walking with, I was able to channel my energy into a mantra. A mantra made for grounding the energetic root is "The earth supports me and meets my needs." Inhale, Exhale, Repeat.

New Mom Tip: Allow that stroller in the back of your car to see the light of day. Put baby in the stroller and walk on girlfriend!





Baby Girl gets a great nap from her walking meditation!

 

Yama Yoga Mama Meditation 101

I had another mom message me earlier in the week asking for some tips on meditation. After chatting back and forth, she left with a few ideas on how she could get more out of her practice.



Photo found at
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/216524694560559518/

I can not stress enough what meditation has done for me as a mom and as a women. Through a deep prenatal practice, I was able to connect and visualize my baby. In those first few weeks after my daughters birth, a meditation practice was able to refresh me when sleep was not possible. The more I continue with my practice, the more I feel at ease in my day and with my role as a mom. On days I don't get my practice in, I feel a little off. I feel like I am off balance and unable to focus.

In this world where we are mentally and physically racing from one thing to the next, a few minutes to spend focusing on just one thing is truly a gift! In "Sharing THIS Moment With Your Baby"  I talked about using time to embrace the moment with your baby but here are some more tips on how to find calm in the wake of motherhood.

Meditation 101:

• Start with a small goal. Try to sit quietly for 5 minutes. As time goes on, you can increase the amount of time you spend. In the beginning 5 minutes will feel like FOR-EV-ER. Meditation is like endurance training.
• Try to focus on ONE thing. These can include:
• Your breath (Inhale, Exhale, Repeat)
• a word (Ma Om means Divine Love. Breathe in the syllable Ma and breathe out OM)
• An object (picture, candle, something special to you)
• Try journaling before sitting for meditation. It helps to clear the mind.
• Don't get discouraged. Meditation is NOT easy. Even though you are suppose to be sitting still we are not programmed for that anymore. We are multitaskin', computer sittin', coffee drinkin', textin', Facebook likin' machines. Meditation brings us out of our comfort zone.

If Sitting Quietly Fails You:

• Get up and move with a walking meditation. Focus on feeling your feet on the ground, the breeze in your hair, and if you live in Texas the sun baking you.
• Lay down and experience a guided meditation. There are so many options out there. From Yoga Nidra to Visualization many people find success with this concrete meditation option. You can use Pandora, Spotify, ITunes, YouTube. Your possibilities are endless. If you want a meditation specifically written and recorded for you, head over to Yama Yoga Mama.
• Pour yourself a cup of tea, water,or coffee and settle down. Start to really taste your beverage. The subtle nuances of the flavor, scent, color, and sensation of drinking it.
• Fold laundry or anything else you can do on autopilot. Sounds crazy but fold that laundry and REALLY focus on it. You start to get into a groove where you fold and move on while staying present. Resist the urge to think about dishes, diapers, emails, etc. Just get on with your laundry foldin' self.
• Think outside the box. The mom I talked to this morning is am amateur photographer. We talked about the concentration needed to take a high quality photo. It may not be the practice she wants but it is a stepping stone to get there.
• Do something physical. Take a yoga class or go for a run. After that, sit down and see if meditation comes easier.

There's my laundry... just waiting to be meditated on!

How will you build your meditation practice? Are you feeling stuck or interested in learning more? Contact the Yama Yoga Mama and learn how to make meditation work for YOU! Mention this blog in an email and get 25% off of the consultation and meditation recording.

Sharing THIS Moment With Your Baby

Have you been living in the moment since your baby was born or have you been secretly thinking about when it gets better or easier? I'm not sure it will get better or easier, but I can bet that we will all wish for this time back. In particular if we have had the audacity to wish it away.

About two weeks after the birth of my daughter, I looked down at her while she was nursing. I had been engrossed in Facebook status after status and hadn't really been paying attention. In that instant though when I looked down, I realized: "I'm never getting this time back." That alone was the reality check I needed to start living in the present moment. I needed to live my life with my daughter and not be so interested in the life of everyone else. I needed to disconnect for several periods a day in order to breathe in the joy that was my daughter.

I'm not perfect. There are still times when I am more absorbed in what inspirational visuals my yogi friends are sharing or giggling at the snarky comments of my friends about their co-workers, but I started making the effort every day to put my phone away and really spend a concentrated period of time looking at my daughter, interacting with her, and building our unbreakable bond.

At least once a day, I meditate on my daughter. The clock does not dictate this but my daughter does. I wait until my girl is in a quiet, alert phase. Those precious moments when she is calm and using her senses to explore the world around her. We sit in a quiet spot and start our meditation. Meditation is about bringing your focus to one point. Before my daughter, I would meditate on a candle flame. Now she has become the most grounding focus point in my life.

Starting at the crown of her head, I take in her peach fuzz cowl-lick the same ashen brown color asher father's. She will likely be bald until 18 months which was when I sprouted hair.

I absorb that her eyes have a sparkle unlike any diamond I have seen. They are full of curiosity, wonder, and fire. Her eyes are a deep ocean bluish-grey just like mine.  It has become our tradition to sit there and make eye contact. To really see each other and offer up a piece of our soul.

There is her button nose, what I call her "chunka monka cheeks", and  her mouth which is usually spewing out some syllable or sound. She typically has the edges of her mouth curled up into a smile that radiates I'm sweet, but I'm sassy. She might be little but she is not short on personality. We spend time just being happy together. Happy to have this time where we can just be.

I take in her length sometimes even measuring her. I take in her hands and let the little fingers curl around mine. I usually can get a little giggle from her by making a silly face. Those giggles are the most beautiful symphony in the world. Mozart and Beethoven have nothing on those joyful notes.

Exercising her legs, working them in and out, we both enjoy the realization that her feet are in fact attached to her body. Those are her feet. She loves looking at them and frequently has some kind of fancy footwear on for entertainment. She loves her shoes. A girl after her mom's heart.

We spend time looking at books and taking in the pictures. Sometimes I read the words on the page and sometimes I make up our own story. We play with stuffed animals and instruments all the while allowing me to see what she enjoys and has no interest in. What makes her excited? Right now the answer to that question is whatever she can put in her mouth! Sometimes we do baby yoga or infant massage. Other times we just lay side by side and look up at the ceiling.


Whatever it is, we do it together. And we do it without distraction.

Living in the moment hasn't made time slow down. It doesn't speed it up either. It strictly allows me to look back and know that I did not take one of these precious moments for granted. There is not one opportunity that I have missed out on. Things can feel like they happened yesterday or forever ago but the important thing is that I was there.

Have you been inspired lately?

I find inspiration about a hundred times a day. Sometimes it lands in my lap. Sometimes I need to actively seek it.

So I ask you, have you been inspired today? And wait you aren't done. Have you inspired anyone lately?

 

 

Shannon, Myself, and Stacy... AND my CERTIFICATE!

This weekend, I graduated my 500 hour yoga certification. It's advanced training in yoga. It might as well be an advanced certification in finding inspiration. We all spent the day talking about our 15 month journey. There was so much motivation and creative energy colliding in the room, I'm still feeling the vibrations hours later. If you have the honor to be in the presence of good yoga teachers you will know there is no way to leave without being inspired. So my inspirations from our little mastermind are as follows:

 

From Melody, I learned that if you speak from the heart there is never a language barrier.

 

From Stephen, I learned that strong exteriors don't equate to harsh insides. He is strong like a bull but as compassionate as a teddy bear.

 

From Kathy, I learned that it is one thing to say you have grown confidence but a different thing to say it with such conviction that no one, no where, no how will challenge that.

 

What I will say about Carol, is that she is a human lotus flower. Beautiful and strong having grown in muddy waters over this past year.

 

Melissa. This woman... is strong, passionate, kind, and gave us a glimpse into her voyage as a yoga studio owner. We became privy to the good, the bad, and the ugly... and the ant infested cracker.

 

Joanna taught me a hugely valuable lesson today. You can have going on what you have going on. And you can tell everyone when you are damn ready to and not a moment sooner.

 

Now, Christi. Christi doesn't know this, but I have adored her since the first moment I met her. She is one of those women with a smile that basically says "Come on in. I'll take care of you." She is a "veteran" yoga teacher. Most "veteran" yoga teachers are really intimidating. This woman is the salt of the earth. In her project she shared that there is always room to grow. 

From Amanda, I learned that life is truly a journey and that you can always be better. Amanda has a smile that radiates light and abundance. She is someone that doesn't accept mediocre or status quo from herself, which encourages everyone else to step their own journey up a notch.

 

From Teresa, I was able to see true Moksha (yogic term for liberation) in action. She is radiating happiness and abundance after her year long quest for freedom. She is kicking ass in the world and not pausing to take names! She has a self professed love of self-help books, and for the first time I felt like maybe those books can work.

 

Now onto our fierce leaders:

 

Most of you who know me have heard me talk about Shannon lately. I basically have dreams of yoga as a career only because of the sideline coaching this woman has done over the past two months. She has a way of bringing out the best in whoever she meets. Whether it be by recommending a book or opening larger doors, the idea of Yama Yoga Mama is progressing only because of this fiercely intelligent, hilarious, and kind leader.

 

All of you have heard me talk about Stacy. Mostly because I LOVE HER! She has been my biggest cheerleader over the past year. She has taught me how to really support other people. Sometimes when you need a good ass kicking, she knows just the right question to ask. There are social workers who don't handle situations with the finesse of this tiger! Over the past year, I frequently have caught myself using the acronym WWSD... you guessed it "What Would Stacy Do?"

 

Joss and I celebrating by getting some snuggles in!
 

After being in this room for several hours, my natural high continued when I came home to my daughter. A true yogi at just four months. She takes each moment for what it is. If you need to poop, poop. If you need to fuss or stretch your legs, do it. If you want to sleep but you are eating... do both at the same time. She inspires me to live in the moment and dance to the beat of my own drum (even if it is a bongo).

 

I challenge you to find inspiration each day this week. Talk to people. Open your eyes and see the world around you. Go on Pinterest and search for quotes.

I just ask that you then take that inspiration and pay it forward. Create a movement of good energy and watch the rest fall into place.

From my heart to yours, Namaste!

I'm My Mother

Most people that read this know me. And if you know me, you know that there is no one I love, cherish, and look up too as much as I do my mother. If you know my mother I put you among the luckiest people in the world. Today is my mom's birthday so I feel compelled to tell you all how great she is!

Last Thursday, I was fortunate enough to have my mom come stay with me for a few days. As usual I couldn't sleep the night before. I was just too excited to see the woman I also consider my best friend. We spent her time here enjoying each other and playing with my daughter. Yesterday as we were going to the airport, I looked in my rearview, caught a glimpse of her, and realized "I'm My Mother."

I have known for sometime that my mom and I are similar not only in looks. My husband in giving his toast at our rehearsal dinner 5 years ago, noted that he felt like he was marrying my mother AND what a great thing that was. My brother has been known to call us "two peas in a space pod." Comparing me to my mom is the greatest compliment I could receive. My mom has taught me some powerful lessons in my almost 30 years (ALMOST). This weekend exemplified that what this woman can teach me is endless.

 

So here are my Top 5 from this weekend

#1: Its ok to cry. Whenever we are together we tend to cry knowing how short each trip will be. And we aren't limited to crying in the house privately. We've cried in the car, in the mall, at lunch, over ice cream, over tea... you name it. Yesterday when I started crying at lunch because we only had 30 minutes left before dropping her at the airport, I quickly put my sunglasses down to hide my tears. My mom wore her tears loud and proud. No shades needed. Being away from her daughter is worthy of a tear here or there... or everywhere as the case is sometimes.

#2 Every little girl should be treated like a Princess. My husband and father-in-law constantly poke fun at my princess behaviors. They blame my mom for my shopping issue, my inability to accept the answer "no," and quite honestly my love of luxury. I remember my husband rolling his eyes when Mom and I came home from maternity shopping. He didn't understand why I needed so much for just 9 months of wearing. My mom quickly responded that in order to really feel good, I needed nice things. End of discussion.

#3 A personalized thank you goes a long way. My mom hand-wrote over 200 personalized thank you's for her retirement. She received thank you's for her thank you notes. When we talked about this I realized my thank you note fetish started with her. If people are kind enough to give you a gift, you should be kind enough to take some time and genuinely thank them. Thinking back on my wedding, every single guest got a special note. Not that generic "Thank you for coming and sharing our day." People deserve more than that.

#4 The best way to start your day is with a cup of tea and most days should include cupcakes. I remember my mom and aunt getting together after church on Sundays for a cup of tea and long talks when I was little. I swell with pride that now when we are together we share tea and long talks. First stop on any adventure tends to be Starbucks or the cute shop around the corner from my house. We talk about everything and anything and as she puts it "solve the problems of the world." Cupcakes became our thing when I moved to Texas and introduced her to Dimples.

#5 Above all my mom has taught me and given me the confidence to be a mom. I've had people challenge some of the ways that I choose to parent. I've had people give unsolicited and aggravating advice. My mom encourages me to ignore them and to go with my instinct. About two weeks ago, I had someone question my parenting to the point where I felt like maybe I was doing something wrong. After my mom got done ranting because someone hurt my feelings, she told me that the reason my daughter is the way she is (quite frankly perfect) is because of the mother I've been. I can honestly say that if that's true, my daughter is perfect because of the way my mom was and continues to be.

Happy Birthday Mommy.

"I do love you Koala Lou."

 

Selling Your House: A Lesson in Non-Attachment

My husband and I made the decision last week to sell our house. It was something that we had toyed with for a few months, but when his opportunity of a lifetime came knocking we couldn't turn it down. When we moved to Texas two years ago from New Jersey... I did NOT go quietly. I actually refused to come until he promised that I would be able to get a third greyhound. I'm somewhat of a collector when it comes to them. So I came kicking and screaming to Texas and as we made the decision to leave, I realized just how much I enjoyed our life here.

Now everything moved pretty quick. We decided on a Tuesday to move, on Thursday we signed the paperwork for our house, and on Friday, our realtor posted a "coming soon" sign. As many new moms can relate, life with a newborn flies so it wasn't so much the pace we were moving that was bothering me but what I was leaving behind and what I was losing like...

MY PRIVACY

Most new moms can relate. When was the last time you showered without your newborn in the room with you? For me it was earlier today BUT some days, I soap up with my munchkin sitting in her bouncy seat gazing at me.

When you sell your house, you start to live in a fishbowl. From the moment our realtor had us post on Facebook that we were listing, we had boatloads of people texting, calling, emailing wanting details on our house (because it is super fabulous) and asking questions about where we were going. I got very good at NOT answering that question.

My sense of solitude was stripped further when people starting driving up to our house, getting out, inspecting the sign and then walking up on our lawn and trying to see in our windows. Since we started showing this weekend, I can't even think about people investigating my closets, drawers, art (oh wait no, they made us take most of that down).

How does someone even bid farewell to their privacy? It will be a continuous journey
. I'm not really a secretive person but I know that I like things on my terms and if I sense someone is looking for information, I tent to withhold.

But perhaps the hardest thing I am leaving behind, is my daughter's nursery. LABOR of LOVE defined. Imagine floor to ceiling purple giraffe print that matches bedding perfectly. Curtains custom made by your aunt with fabric you patrolled the internet seeking for close to 12 hours. Not to mention the fair trade made baskets that host all her toys. It HURTS to think about it. In fact the reason to sell really took so long, was because of this giraffe wall.

Since signing the paperwork, I have tried:

staring at that wall until it hurts (I got a headache)

putting my daughter down for her naps in the nursery (optimizing use and exposure)

avoiding the nursery (hard when that's where the diapers are)

crying it out (I don't cry pretty)

telling myself that I can do it better in our new home (I had to admit it, there are flaws in my pattern)

And even contemplating painting over it (gasp)

Our Giraffe Wall Flaws and All

You guessed it, nothing helps. In yoga, we talk so much about non-attachment. Who we are, the things we done, material items... we can have them or not... but they don't define us. For me that giraffe wall is so deeply connected to who I feel I am as a mother. It's time to let that vision go and let myself as a mother be redefined. How silly of me to be attached to a wall? It doesn't replace the relationship I have built in just four months with my daughter. So now my mission, should I choose to accept it, is to rock like Elsa in Frozen and "Let it Go."

Less is More: Flying With a Baby

Travel is one of those things that can cause extreme anxiety for new moms. My daughter and I traveled when she was just 6 weeks old. My husband was unable to come so it was just the two of us. We were going to wait a few more weeks but honestly, I just missed my family too much.

The night before we were set to fly, I had a complete meltdown. I was so nervous and overwhelmed by all that could go wrong.

How would I manage all my stuff? What if the flight was late or canceled? What if I ran out of milk? What if my daughter cried the whole time? What if I had to use the restroom?

Obviously all of these things were legitimate concerns. Really what new mom could hold her bladder for 6-7 hours total?

So once I got through with my pity party the night before, I organized and really thought of solutions for all my concerns.

How to manage all the baggage that goes with flying

·         Curbside check in. Have someone drop you right at the counter. Tip the handler with a smile and $5. You’ll be golden!

o   Also consider buying the diapers and wipes you’ll need when you arrive at your destination or have someone pick them up for you if you are visiting family.

o   Same thing goes for your stroller and carseat. See if you can borrow from a family member or rent one. But traveling with them looks like a hassle.

·         Make your carry on light… Only the necessities make the cut. We rolled on board with small diaper bag and my girl in the Baby K’Tan. My diaper bag included:

o   3-4 diapers

o   A travel wipes case and changing pad

o   A receiving blanket

o   Extra outfit for baby

o   Extra t-shirt for me

o   2 toys (Note: NOT the whole toy box)

o   wristlet with all my "stuff" (lotion, tissues, credit cards, cash, phone, etc)

o   (2) 4 oz bottles of breastmilk

o   My nursing cover

o   AND THAT’S IT

·         Have someone there when you land to get a hug from and help with luggage. This is when you really should pay to park at the airport.

The Essential Diaper Bag

Changes in schedule

·         Unfortunately it happens. And it happened to us. On the way there, we were golden. On the way back, at 11:00 pm the night before our flight was canceled. We were rescheduled but not until later in the afternoon. Fortunately, we had that notice the night before. Once we got to the airport, we were delayed but we used the time to walk around, take in the sites, get a snack… get another snack… and another snack.

·         Always try to talk to an agent and see if there are options for you with a baby. Sometimes they might let you into their presidents club or find you a seat on another flight that’s leaving earlier.

Food Supply

·         If you are nursing, you are able to take as much breastmilk through security as you need. I don’t mean that as a joke. I mean if you pump and put milk in bottles, they will scan it and let you through. BUT feel free to have your boobs as full as you need too. ;)

·         Pack some snacks for you too. Sometimes those flights are long and the pretzels and nuts are stale.

·         Also when they come by and ask if you want a drink. Get yourself water. No use in dehydrating yourself so the chances you have to go to the bathroom are less.

Crying babies on a plane

·         I think there are few people who have not been aggravated when sharing the plan with a crying baby. As a new mom, I remembered those times when I wanted to sleep but a fussy baby kept me up. I figured it would be just my karma coming back on me to have THAT baby.

·         The night before I thought long and hard about what automatically calms my girl down at any given moment. There were the obvious: nursing and pacifier. But my daughter LOVES to snuggle. I was already bringing the baby carrier so we would be nice and cozy the whole time.

Using the ladies room

·         If you are traveling on your own, this is a big one. So I encourage you… to get to a yoga class and do chair pose. With the baby carrier, I could go hands free but the tricky part was sitting low enough and back enough. Sounds funny but seriously I took a deep inhale, and exhale sat back in “chair.”

·         I will also say this. I didn’t want to have to go on the flight so I went to the bathroom before boarding each and every time regardless of it I had to go.

·         I also changed my girl prior to boarding so that I didn’t feel like I needed to change her multiple times on the flight. I also changed her right after we got off the flight.

Most important of all:

·         Laugh when things go wrong. Our first flight, I boarded the wrong plane. I was so nervous I misread the gate sign. WHOOPS. The gate agent came running after me and no harm was done but I had a good laugh… as did the rest of the people in line. It happens. J

Honor the Living Parts of Your Household

Those first couple of weeks and months of motherhood are challenging. You went from one routine with a certain number of people to adding a whole other person in the mix. In our house, we were 2 people and 3 gorgeous greyhounds. Now I say 3 gorgeous greyhounds but I might as well tell you now, they are considered as people in our home. Their needs are more important than my own. If we were ever in a situation where we could only afford either their food or ours, they would be the ones left eating. The following is pretty much how our home run

Throughout my pregnancy, I contemplated how a baby would impact the hounds. I wanted to make sure they always felt my love for them and that it was unchanging. I really resented people that said “Once the baby comes, you won’t love them the same way.” The truth is I love them just as much as I did before I had our daughter. But in order to make myself feel better and keep the bond I had with them, my husband and I decided that before we worry or take care of anything else, we take care of the living beings in our house. So that meant the dogs and our daughter came first. Nothing else really matters. Laundry can sit in the basket unfolded. Emails will be unanswered. Mail will be in the mailbox. Dishes can pile in the sink for a time. We may not vacuum or dust, but our daughter and dogs will be loved on.

If you know me, you know I like a clean house. I can’t sleep if anything is too messy. Remember that episode of Friends where they challenge Monica to try and sleep with the shoes still in the living room… that’s me. I may as well change my name to Monica Geller because I could not sleep with my shoes in the living room. They need to be in their bed at night… my shoe rack.

With making the agreement to care and tend for our living house, at first I was bending over backwards to get the dishes in the dishwasher while everyone else napped. Then I wised up, I was a living part of our household. It was just as important to care for myself. It meant instead of putting the dishes in the dishwasher, I needed to find a clean dish and make myself something to eat. Instead of answering emails, I needed to get a good snuggle in with my boy Rock.

If motherhood is overwhelming you, take time. Identify what needs the most care and provide for them and yourself first. If you are like me find paper plates (made from recycled products) and use them and chuck ‘em. Find those easy solutions for your “big” problems.

 

Proud mama show off! Meet my hounds!

Aren't they beautiful?!?!?!



Peggy

Rock



Ginger

The Grass is Always Greener: Meeting new moms

We moved to Texas two years ago. In that time, I actually had a really hard time making friends. I'm from New Jersey. Putting a Jersey girl in Texas is like trying to get that square peg in a round hole. I knew I was in trouble when I started getting asked which church we were all going too. It turns out that is the equivalent to asking what someone's occupation is. I am more of a spiritual person than religious so I don't attend a church. If you just felt a giant breeze, it was the state of Texas gasping at my disclosure. Once I started going to more yoga classes and attending trainings and workshops, I met people I click with but it was kind of hard to meet pregnant yoga teachers. I did meet one (Hi Salena!!!) So I love my yoga teacher friends and that was my circle.

Once I had my baby, it was time to venture to new mom groups. I was really looking forward to meeting some new moms and had this idea that I would meet lifelong friends and our kids would grow together. We would have BBQs and all sorts of excitement.

What I didn't realize is that my motherhood was so different from what everyone else experienced, it was hard for me to get into the conversations. Case in point: BREASTFEEDING. So from what I gather, producing milk is something many women struggle with. Despite their efforts there is something that just isn't working out. This absolutely sucks. A good friend from New Jersey, had her little boy and really struggled with production at first. She was really disappointed. She had to supplement and it was just aggravating for her. My experience could not be more different. I put milk cows to SHAME! In the beginning, I was able to pump 6 ounces a side. Which while wonderful on the whole "breastmilk is liquid gold" side, it SUCKS to walk around never being able to relieve the pressure. Imagine walking around with what feels like the weight of two watermelons strapped to you. Just like some moms have to work on increasing their supply, I need to work at decreasing.

While I accept every woman's journey is going to be different, this is what I came across:

 

rolling eyes

 

"Well that's a good problem to have"

 

"Be grateful."

 

flat out ignoring me from that point on

Now if I had done the same reaction to their issue, I would have really become a pariah. Not all new moms were like this but it got to be where I really hated attending groups, meeting moms, etc. I felt since my girl was sleeping through the night, rarely fussy, and overall easy time, other new moms rarely empathized with me and the struggles I was facing. And trust me, I have come across struggles.

It could just be because these were people that I was just meeting or it could be because we always think "The Grass Is Always Greener." I met some moms who were happy they were away from their family because they didn't want them interfering with how they raised their babies. I completely see this side of it, but I would give anything to have my mom with me here in Texas.

I did have a different experience with my friends that I knew before baby. My friend Suzi in NJ was an awesome mama to text while nursing finding humor in various new mom things. My friend and yoga mentor Stacy, never made me feel like just a new mom. We were able to talk yoga, business, and Universe. My friend Tennille and I have met for breakfast and she loves my little girl to come too. My cousin Dawn as a mom of older kids was a great resource on all things breastfeeding, diaper changing, schedules, etc.

So what is my point? New moms, please realize that we are all on the same journey but have different paths. We are all raising beautiful, delightful bundles of joy. However it is OK for the women with an ample supply to complain just as much as its OK for another to complain about your low supply. It is OK for one mom to feel exhausted because her baby needs to be fed every 2-3 hours, just like another mom can be exhausted from her baby being up all day. Accept and listen to all. Be careful with your words (although this is something everyone could benefit from doing). In other words: I honor the light in you, so honor it in me! NAMASTE!

Being Present At Your Changing Table

So we have all experienced... THE DIAPER EXPLOSION. Even that pretty, little ladylike pumpkin of mine, has them. And when she does... it is a SH*T STORM... literally. Now I've been at multiple mom groups and on the phone with multiple people who get aggravated to the heavens when their kid does it. Especially right when you are walking out the door. Pause... remember that time... now laugh because its over. Pumpkin's first blow out happened when we were already running late to her first pediatrician visit. Sleep deprived at that point, postnatal hormones going crazy, and my husband's reaction all made me want to rip my hair out in that one moment BUT I decided these moments and diapers aren't going to happen forever. So here are my tips to actually "enjoy" your blow out... and any other time you spend changing baby.

• Be present. Don't think about how you wont have time to run through Starbucks or about the email you need to send. Time is precious. EVERYTHING can wait.
• Laugh uncontrollably. Being angry, annoyed, and aggravated does absolutely NOTHING for you. If you are late to something because your kid pooped no one will be thinking anything other than "Better you than me."
• Empathize with your baby. Usually I see one of two looks from pumpkin. It's either "Yea, I did it" or "What just happened in there?" So I talk calmly, quietly and make the transition to changing.
• Talk to your baby while you are changing them. They wont talk back (yet) but this is a bonding time.
• I always make a mental note to leave 15 minutes before I need too. That way if as soon as I put Pumpkin in the carseat, she blows, no issue! If you have multiple kids... maybe leave 15 and then add 5 for each additional baby?
•  Practice holding your breath

 

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Visualizing Your Best Self

What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of mother are you? Is your vision filled with you tired, sloppy, on the verge of tears because you can't remember the last time you showered without your child watching you? Are you that mom that is looking refreshed, whipping healthy snacks out of your diaper bag, and discussing an amazing book you are reading with some likeminded mamas over tea?

I ask what you as a mom want to look/feel like, yet this concept of what kind of person do you want to be also applies to every single nitty gritty component of you. So mom, non-mom, never wanna be a mom, read on because my week and realizations this week have been rockin'.

Three weeks ago (give or take), Yama Yoga Mama was launched! Like any business starting out, I had a vision of what I wanted my company to look like. Logo. Blog. Facebook presence. Website. Prenatal Workshops.  I know I want it to grow to be its best self BUT I was eager as a beaver to kick it off. And so here we are three weeks later and I have all of the things I have visualized for my little project. Not only did I visualize "the stuff" but my thoughts were consumed with "this is going to be hard," I wont make any money," and "will anyone pay for stuff like this?". So why did I move forward without it being perfect?

About 2 months ago, I had an intensive weekend for my 500 hour yoga certification. We talked about our relationship with money. We took a quiz and then learned about our money personality. My results were not shocking. I am a Alchemist (big, bright ideas, little follow through), Romantic, and Nurturer. For some reason that quiz really kicked my butt in gear. I didn't WANT to be someone with big ideas and a poor relationship with money. I wanted to be a woman who had an amazing idea and saw it through. And so Yama Yoga Mama, leapt from my brain out into the universe and is ready to kick ass and take names. Just kidding, I'm actually just here to help other new moms and women find a little bit of peace, serenity, and humor in their day to day adventures.

Now two Sundays ago, I was talking to Shannon D. Caldwell, the director of Purple Lotus Yoga Teacher Training and she encouraged me to read this book called Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield Thomas. This book helps you start to realize how to obtain your "rich life." It helps you clear past crap, visualize for the future, and makes it happen. Within a hot 5 hours, the Universe started working for me. Questions and financial stuff, I had been dealing with for MONTHS, cleared up in minutes. In addition, Shannon sent me her book Southern Modern Zen to help me clear more crap and fine tune and visualize my ideas further.

Key components in both books and in many conversations over the past few weeks have been the concepts of manifesting and visualizing abundance. Those terms can sound "weird" to many people so here I am "normalizing" it. When you manifest you are creating an energy or attitude that you want to see played out. Case in point: My husband and I were contemplating a pretty big decision since the birth of our daughter. We kept waiting and waiting for answers. Within a few hours of me starting to say "we will make a decision within the next two days," it got real and the decision was made that night. I didn't mention it to my husband, it was more a shift in my attitude and energy. Instead of sending into the world "We will never know." and "this is going on forever," I shifted it to something positive.  Its amazing how instantly you feel better and even more so how a positive attitude leads to monumental change.

On to visualizing: now this is like a day dream. You start to see your life the way you want it to be. You create this image and this feeling that becomes a reality. I have found that it has become how goal setting feels. With Shannon's guidance I started to realized I needed to determine how I wanted my life to look AND feel. I have also seen HUGE shifts with the use of visualization. I had this image of myself acting confident when talking about money and business partnerships. Just that experience of seeing it allowed me to put it into action yesterday when someone called asking if she could get involved with my company. I didn't hesitate to tell her financially how it would work, non-negotiable. I have been soft in the past. I definitely suffer from "you can just pay me with positive thoughts."

My above experiences give all women an idea of how to start using manifestation and visualization. BUT if you are someone (a mom) who needs concrete how, when, where... It really can occur anywhere, amyplace. I have started implementing it during my daughter's first nursing session of the day. While she enjoys her breakfast, I close my eyes and start seeing how my day is going to roll. This morning I sat there saying I'm going to publish a post today, post it to Facebook, and get my girl in a super sweet outfit and head out for cupcakes with a neighbor later in the day. The rest of the day will be unplanned with lots of snuggles and gazing at my beautiful girl. Taking it all in because she wont be this little forever.

So here is my challenge: Start visualizing your best self and life today! Let me know when life gets better!

Super sweet outfit on my baby girl!

Make Your Own Happiness

It took me way to long to realize that happiness is not something that happens to you but something you create. For years I remember thinking, "I'll be happy when...." Through my yoga I learned waiting to be happy was a sure fire way to never obtain it. The other way to jeopardize your happiness is to constantly look at other people and ask why you aren't that happy. Seeing life and others that way prevents you from looking at your life and realizing that it is pretty awesome.

Learning to be happy stems from being around your parents and their ability to take pleasure in the simple things. I will say my mom is one of the happiest and most "sunny side" people I know so I am not sure how it escaped me for so long. No different that in my post about Karma, we need to model for our children that we should always have goals or desires but that if they don't come through they don't limit or prevent us from achieving happiness. We practice the yogic concept of non-attachment. Set the goal. Achieve or don't achieve. Accept it. Start again.